lately, it’s been grace

Fall is always a contemplative season for me. It’s as if the changing of the leaves inspires change inside of me. The leaves are dying, but yet they have never been more beautiful. I want to be like that. I want to have Christ shine through me in the most dry and difficult times in life.

Busy has been the how our lives have been since moving to Nashville. Busy. Busy. Busy. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even breathe and I get stressed WAY too easily. I yell and impatiently honk at slow drivers, I get angry while standing in line, I want to cry when I realize that our (insane) dental bills have to be paid from our travel fund, I am annoyed at how busy it has been at work lately from the Meningitis outbreak, my day is ruined by having to attend a class at the hospital on my day off, I feel frustrated that I don’t have it all together like the people on Pinterest seem to. And on, and on, and on.

But God has been speaking to me about grace lately. Having grace for the slow driver because maybe it’s a sweet elderly person who is trying to safely navigate the crazy highways. I need to have grace for the fact that life {and teeth} can be unexpectedly expensive but God is the God who provides. I need to have grace for my patients because  they are scared and anxious about a possible diagnosis that could change their lives forever. I need to have grace for myself and realize that if I don’t cross off everything on my to-do list or make a Pinterest worthy dinner, the day is not a failure.

I was so encouraged by this prayer from Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace {via} that I had to share it with you.

Oh God, gather me now to be with you as you are with me.

Soothe my tiredness;
quiet my fretfulness;
curb my aimlessness;
relieve my complusiveness;
let me be easy for a moment.

O Lord, release me
from the fears and guilts which grip me so tightly;
from the expectations and opinions which I so tightly grip,
that I may be open
to receiving what you give,
to risking something genuinely new,
to learning something refreshingly different.

Forgive me
for claiming so much for myself
that I leave no room for gratitude;
for confusing exercises in self-importance
with acceptance of self-worth;
for complaining so much of my burdens
that I become a burden;
for competing against others so insidiously
that I stifle celebrating them
and receiving your blessing through their gifts.

O God, gather me to be with you as you are with me.

Amen.

I have also been listening to the audiobook “The Scent of Water- Grace For Every Kind of Broken” by Naomi Zacharias for the 4th time and it’s better than ever. It’s exactly what I need to hear right now.

Job 14:7-9

At least there is hope for a tree:
If it is cut down, it will sprout again,
and its new shoots will not fail.
 Its roots may grow old in the ground
and its stump die in the soil,
 yet at the scent of water it will bud
and put forth shoots like a plant.

Also, this post and this blog have been really encouraging and show me that I’m not alone in this struggle to live a life of grace.

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4 thoughts on “lately, it’s been grace

  1. Jess, what a great and amazing post! And those pictures… I wish we were still there! Thanks for your encouragement…in this not-so-easy time in our lives. And thanks for all those wonderfully delicious, Pinterest-worthy dinners you make me. 🙂 I love you tons!

  2. I love reading your blogs! Each one is so rich and life-giving…like you! Thank you for generously sharing your life! Write a book! I’ll be the first to purchase it! And make it a gift to the people I love!

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