wherever you go, there you are

We’re baaaaack.

matching boots

God didn’t tell us what to do or where to go like we hoped he would. He didn’t answer our prayer of showing us what’s next.

Davey signing in just in case we get lost on the hike.

Then I wondered, what did I want God to tell me? What was the “thing” that I was so focused on hearing that I was probably missing out on what God was really trying to teach me? I know God is more concerned with our character then our comfort and sometimes that really annoys me because I’m definitely more concerned with my comfort. So then I ate this:

yum

Sometimes when there are a million options, when you have the opportunity to do anything you want, it gets extremely overwhelming. At least it does for me. It feels like there’s a lot of pressure to pick the perfect option or to not pick the wrong one. I wish God would just pick it for me because, for some reason, if God picks it for me, then I’m absolved of responsibility if it doesn’t work out. But God is God, so it would work out and then life would be great because everything is working out. But again, God is more concerned with my character then with things working out my way…

canoe just tell me what to do?

Ironically enough, I stumbled upon this post from a blog I follow… the title alone sums up what I’m trying to say The Dilemma of My Generation: When “You Can Do Anything!” Means, “You’d Better Make it Good!”  How true is that? Especially now, as my very wise cousin reminded me {as I was crying to her on the phone, freaking out about life}, with blogs and Facebook… it has to be good because everyone in your social network, even the ones you barely know or the ones from 5th grade, will probably think you’re a loser if it isn’t cool. Because after all, only the cool things are posted on Facebook.

Autumn leaves. Jesus doesn't.

I read that quote {the one under that ↑ picture} on a church’s billboard as I ran by it the other day. It is corny and cute and true. Even when seasons come and go, when life curves and turns and when I change my mind every other minute, God never changes.

“Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time” -Oswald Chambers. Oh Oswald… he always hits the nail on the head. I don’t understand why God isn’t telling us what to do or where to go. Even a little nudge would be nice. I don’t understand why the Bible tells us to acknowledge God and he’ll direct our paths {Pr 3:6} and then when I acknowledge God I feel less direction then before. So we just decided to make a campfire and that was fun.

roaring campfire

Maybe all this instability and indecision in my life is God’s way of contrasting his stability and faithfulness. Maybe it doesn’t matter what we do and where we go as long as we love God and love others wherever that is. Wherever you go, there you are… or are you?

sunset over the lake

For a long time it’s been: wherever I go, I’m 10 steps ahead. I have a problem with being at peace with where I’m at. Then I read this and it’s like a punch in the stomach: “You will not find peace by engaging in excessive planning: attempting to control the future. That is a commonly praticed form of unbelief. I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with me. Bring me ALL your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything into my care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of peace.” 1 Peter 5:6-7, Proverbs16:9,Psalm 37:5 -Sarah Young(Jesus calling)

on top of Panther Mountain

Butttttttt I like to be in controlllllll. But the reality is that I don’t know what is going to happen, I just think I do. I need to get comfortable with not knowing and stop leaning on my own understanding. But that’s cliche and so hard to do! So then I ate this- which just happened to be the “BEST pizza I’ve ever made”, so said my husband.

the best pizza I've ever made

Then we made a list of our options and a list of what we what next in life. Then we picked one. Just like that. We’re doing the next thing which is probably moving to San Francisco. Since I still have my CA nursing license, I’ll do travel nursing {working with an agency that finds hospitals for you to work at for 3 month assignments… if anyone is interested, I have an amazing recruiter!} and so we’ll be there for 3-6 months. It just seems like the most logical next step. And we’re taking it whether or not it’s the perfect option or not.

took.my.breath.away

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5 thoughts on “wherever you go, there you are

  1. I love reading you, Jess! I’ll tell you what… Whatever God is doing IN you is quite beautiful. I totally understand the wanting to know the next thing… and I think the next thing is actually happening and He is already doing it. What really struck me was when you said, “Maybe it doesn’t matter what we do and where we go as long as we love God and love others wherever that is. Wherever you go, there you are… or are you?”. Well this may be the thing!!! Master this and methinks you landed where you are meant to be. Trusting all along the way that God is with you, guiding, leading, unfolding His master plan just for you. You’ve come a long way, baby!

    And I am personally thrilled San Fran is your next stop in the Master’s Plan!

  2. Hey, thanks for the link. We are officially blogging BFF’s now. 🙂 Also, I really loved reading this and resonated with so much of what you said. When Jonathan and I were making the decision last spring about what to do next and where to go, we similarly had that feeling of, “We’ll do anything God, just please show us exactly what you want us to do!” and were frustrated that there never was a clear answer. So we did what you did…we weighed the options, we chose the path that seemed to make the most sense, we prayed about it and didn’t feel that it was wrong, even if we weren’t sure-beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt that it was right. And we took a step of faith and moved from Illinois to North Carolina, a state we’d never even been to. There have been really difficult things about moving and starting over and trying to find a community, but mostly, we love it here and we see how God is moving in our lives in fresh ways and it’s amazing. My dad always says that as long as you are moving God can re-direct you, it’s when you refuse to step in any direction out of fear that you get stuck. I so often have the temptation to think that there is one right choice and life is test to see if I can discern the “right” choice, but I really don’t think that’s true. I think often there isn’t one right choice, there are just different choices, all of which God is sovereign over and in control of. Sometimes I think God gives us a specific answer or direction, but sometimes I think he spreads the world out before us and says, “You take a step and let me show you how I am with you ALWAYS. There is nowhere you can go that my presence won’t find you.” And that’s pretty cool. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your journey. If you ever have a reason to be in North Carolina, we should become real-life friends.

  3. Thank you for sharing your heart and being honest. I am in the same spot myself and have asked those same questions over and over. I keep coming back to faith and trust. It’s so much easier when you know where you are going 🙂 I am thankful for you guys and will pray for guidance and next steps as I continue to seek God for mine. Blessing

  4. REALLY???!!! first i absolutely love your blog and this journey you and davey are on!
    you are inspiring and i love hearing about how God is working through you two!
    now….the end of this blog….SF?? i want some details! 🙂

  5. Davey and Jess,

    I just want you to know that we respect you two so much…. Your authenticity, the generous vulnerability that you model…your willingness to explore and pursue the lead of the Holy Spirit — all add up to two sojourners with a growing cadre of followers and fans. If your sojourn leads you through Nashville, we will be two happy fans! Our prayers follow you to San Francisco, knowing that you will be making our mutual friend, Christine, very happy! 🙂

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