This was the background to the song lyrics at church on Sunday. I leaned over to Davey and said “I feel like this tree right now. Like I’m bare and enduring a cold winter.” I’ll forewarn you, this is not one of my ‘life-is-great-look-at-our-adventures’ type post. Honestly, life is hard right now. There’s not one huge thing that’s making life hard, but a billion little things, which add up to one long, cold winter. Oh, you know, the usual, stress at work, bills, bills and more bills, planning to do missions, raising support, car repairs, being far from family, and a pending termite treatment to our apartment that will require us to move all the furniture 16″ from all walls and remove everything out of our garage. Our garage is so full that hopefully when we open the door, all the stuff will just fall out… along with the termites. Life is life. And, like the actual season, I am enduring my own “winter” where nothing makes sense and I have no choice but to trust God and look forward for spring. To quote the song, “Every Season”:
“Even now in death, you open doors for life to enter…”
There are things in my life that seem to be dying. Chapters are closing. Sacrifices are being made. I’m trusting that God is working behind the scenes in ways we can’t see right now. It’s a hard place to be in. I’ll summarize this by telling you that I don’t have a ‘moral to the story’, or an epiphany, or a ‘what I learned paragraph’ because I’m right in the midst of it right now. I don’t usually write a blog post from where there at, I’m more the reflective type. But today I needed to be raw. That too, like winter, won’t last forever 🙂
p.s. I read this on another blog today and had to share. It’s from Linda Dillow’s book “Calm My Anxious Heart” (and boy does my anxious heart need some calm!)
1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything, not even the weather.
2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstance or place.
3. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
4. Never compare yourself with others or their lots.
5. Never dwell on tomorrow, for it is God’s and not ours